A Letter To My Children

To my Children and Their Spouses, written October 27, 2012

While I have no particular audience in mind, just all of you.  I have some thoughts about life and children from a grandparent point of view.   And as I get older, it is easy to be somewhat philosophical.   I guess that is where I am coming from. 

You are only going to get one chance to raise you children and you need to give it all your consideration, planning, prayers and thoughtfulness. 

I have seen the world from a far different place than most of you.  I suspect I have made some judgments about good and bad, and seen where life can go wrong. The world is changing and children are standing on the sidelines looking at those change.  One day soon they will step onto that planning field of life and be out of your reach.  What will they take with them and what decisions they make will affect you and them! What will happen when they take that step?

It is most important to let them know you love them and will protect them above anything. That is one of your primary responsibilities. It is not enough just to say, “I love you”, but your actions are more important.  Help them over life’s problems.  Try to look at things with their young eyes and look into their hearts. 

Your children will always need you support, love, understanding, sympathy, and guidance.  Look for chances to provide each of these things.  The time you spend with them now in things they like to do will reward you and them far into the future. 

I know some of you think I was hard/strict, but most of that came from my knowledge of where and how things could go wrong.  Follow-up on what you expect of them, and challenge them to be their best.  All your children are different, just as you are different.  Look into their hearts and minds for the understanding they will need. Look for the talents God has given them, help them appreciate life and what they have. 

Teach them to be dependable. You cannot accomplish that if you do not hole them accountable. You can be firm and still be loving 

Boys are different than girls.  Girls have different interests.  As your children grow and mature girls have different feelings, are softer, and need more understanding.  Boys most often will confront different challenges and responsibilities in life than their sisters.  Today, I see an entitlement generation. Help your children plan for the future.  Expect and teach your children to be productive.  There is a time to play and a time to work.   

One of the best things about old age are my memories of youth. My parents created some nice memories.  My mother read me poetry. I don’t know way, but I was very young and would snuggle up with her in a rocking chair and she would read to me, Barefoot Boy by John Greenleaf Whittier. I pictured myself as her little barefoot boy running and jumping in the sand.  I have many wonderful memories of her and each of each of you. 

When I needed an allowance my dad purchased a lawn mower and sent me out to work.  I got $1.00 to mow the lawns in my neighborhood.  I worked all day for $1.00 handing out flyers for a sports day camp. I worked washing dishes in a restaurant. I worked in gas stations and worked two different jobs for a 16 hours workday during summer vacations.  I can remember the generosity of my mother feeding a hobo on our back steps with bacon, eggs, toast and coffee.  I was only about 5 or 6, but I looked at that breakfast and thought, why didn’t I get that meal.

But that was over 50 years ago and times have changes.  However, it is important to teach love, compassion, responsibility, discipline, and dependability.  Look for opportunities to teach that and carry through with what you expect. 

In my opinion you cannot love you children too much, but life will not be easy and preparation for that challenge starts at a young age.  What they learn from you and about you will shape their future.  It would be hard thing to look back and say I should have done better or I should have done this or that. You are only to get one chance!

We will all have regrets, but make them as few as possible.  Parents cannot see ever obstacles coming, but look at the scriptures and you will see much into life’s problems.   One of the best decisions I made in life was the Church. I am far from perfect, but I believe it is true, have attempted to follow it principles and teachings. 

I am very proud of each of you and have some wonderful memories.  I look at you and think how could I be so lucky.  I hope you will all be in the same position one day.  I find myself reflecting on your 4-great grandmother, Phoebe Elizabeth (VanDyke) Bloomer, words written in 1880.   “May the Lord Bless you and your nice family and one day I pray we will all be together in Heaven.”

Love Dad